As conversations in the Orthodox jewish community have proliferated on social media sites in recent years, arguments can get out of hand from time to time. Arguments receding into attacks are common, probably due to the ease at which a reply can be sent without true assessment. Most recently, I have seen the trend to separate the argument from the attack in order to keep the conversation civil. Comments like "I have utmost respect for ___, but..." in which you lambast the person and his halakhik decision is common. We try to separate the civil from the halakhik in order to settle the conversation, make us feel that we are working in the "halakhik" sphere, while leaving our Bein adam lachaveiro at the doorstep. In The Right and the Good, Rabbi Feldman disparages such notions. In each chapter, Rabbi Feldman discusses a different parts of the human to human experience. They include, revenge, hatred, insensitivity, and judging others favorably. In my estimation, the book has one overriding thesis. How you talk to your fellow person IS halakhik. The same Rabbis we try and look to for our insight discuss these affairs as well in just as much detail. We are so careful to determine the minutia of halakhik detail, but do we know that many commentaries believed that one should give up their life rather than embarrassing someone because it is akin to killing the person. While it would be hard pressed to decide that way, it shows the intensity at which these matters where looked at. When discussing matters of Jewish observance you can't separate the halakhik from the civility because the latter is included in the former. If Halakha means the Jewish way, why wouldn't these issues be included? When we write are we fully understanding what is going on before judging negatively? Can you really decide someone is doing something wrong halakhikly while not knowing the situation, or can the same question be asked to the person writing, just on a different issue. We are supposed to judge favorably. This should not stop discussion, however, being careful about what you say and how you speak in halakhik arguments is just as halakhik as the argument itself.
You can buy The Right and the Good on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Right-Good-Halakhah-Relations/dp/1933143037
